worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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