That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
