Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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