you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
