Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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