he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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