if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
