My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
only if we run a train.
done.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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