The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
