Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
