the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
