Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
