just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
