Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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