I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
