Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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