I'm gonna have a badass scar
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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