What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Randomize
