The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
