He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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