Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
