I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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