he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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