Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
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