i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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