Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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