sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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