I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Your cock deserves a montage
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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