Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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