id be glad to
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
