Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.

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  (713): Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana. http://tfl.nu/xlmv
  Replies (48) Good night (1129) Bad night (2527)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.

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  (503): it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers. http://tfl.nu/k78j
  Replies (35) Good night (723) Bad night (7461)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.

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  (505): well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop. http://tfl.nu/fta9
  Replies (14) Good night (5539) Bad night (721)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?

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  (503): do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out? http://tfl.nu/q9ps
  Replies (37) Good night (8725) Bad night (3062)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."

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  (605): Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great." http://tfl.nu/846x
  Replies (15) Good night (2561) Bad night (2802)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.

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  (217): I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel. http://tfl.nu/8hwr
  Replies (5) Good night (2232) Bad night (822)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."

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  (401): Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it." http://tfl.nu/3dma
  Replies (5) Good night (1832) Bad night (957)
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  (714): View more from California

  When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.

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  (714): When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value. http://tfl.nu/r3cp
  Replies (16) Good night (666) Bad night (2866)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday

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  (724): On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday http://tfl.nu/c6y1
  Replies (3) Good night (1360) Bad night (401)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.

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  (952): WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms. http://tfl.nu/gsmc
  Replies (6) Good night (407) Bad night (855)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit

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  (312): Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit http://tfl.nu/kckq
  Replies (3) Good night (1152) Bad night (483)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.

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  (662): He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime. http://tfl.nu/s8up
  Replies (3) Good night (219) Bad night (503)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.

  (312): View more from Illinois

  It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!

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  (312): I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit. (312): It's great being a young gay man in Chicago! http://tfl.nu/tlgx
  Replies (5) Good night (925) Bad night (405)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.

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  (732): Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul. http://tfl.nu/smd4
  Replies (4) Good night (458) Bad night (227)
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  (707): View more from California

  he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities

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  (707): he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities http://tfl.nu/qdhe
  Replies (3) Good night (262) Bad night (697)

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