She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you