just tell him i said nine months
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
