Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Did someone propose they get off the stage?

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  (312): awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!! (708): Did someone propose they get off the stage? http://tfl.nu/mqed
  Replies (15) Good night (2344) Bad night (596)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.

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  (832): I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover. http://tfl.nu/1njk
  Replies (14) Good night (3116) Bad night (1188)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.

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  (630): Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt. http://tfl.nu/hsva
  Replies (9) Good night (1525) Bad night (971)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.

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  (903): She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her. http://tfl.nu/v3pj
  Replies (6) Good night (3143) Bad night (660)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life

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  (412): Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life http://tfl.nu/5boh
  Replies (6) Good night (2916) Bad night (1491)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."

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  (248): So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis." http://tfl.nu/nekp
  Replies (5) Good night (2734) Bad night (867)
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  (916): View more from California

  Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash

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  (916): Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash http://tfl.nu/rtwe
  Replies (9) Good night (2359) Bad night (681)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge

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  (248): My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge http://tfl.nu/bj9s
  Replies (16) Good night (2196) Bad night (665)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.

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  (304): Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this. http://tfl.nu/ysuz
  Replies (3) Good night (1312) Bad night (501)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.

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  (917): Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly. http://tfl.nu/0uc8
  Replies (2) Good night (348) Bad night (1033)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Where'd you go last night?

  (512): View more from Texas

  Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.

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  (512): Where'd you go last night? (512): Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex. http://tfl.nu/hvgs
  Replies (3) Good night (961) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.

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  (773): I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful. http://tfl.nu/5jgt
  Replies (1) Good night (450) Bad night (188)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy

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  (541): Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy http://tfl.nu/h95k
  Replies (1) Good night (381) Bad night (185)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!

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  (301): Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?! http://tfl.nu/4qzs
  Replies (1) Good night (207) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic

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  (508): He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic http://tfl.nu/r3d6
  Replies (0) Good night (414) Bad night (159)

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