Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.

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(802): Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye. http://tfl.nu/qfl2

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(785): View more from Kansas

Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.

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(785): Mines from giving head on hardwood floors. http://tfl.nu/x8b4

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.

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(203): I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter. http://tfl.nu/8kyg

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(515): View more from Iowa

So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.

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(515): So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial. http://tfl.nu/ftzk

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(253): View more from Washington

I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.

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(253): I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan. http://tfl.nu/4ryj

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(708): View more from Illinois

you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!

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(708): you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas! http://tfl.nu/ibug

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(740): View more from Ohio

it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second

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(740): it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second http://tfl.nu/z13t

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(862): View more from New Jersey

win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight

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(862): win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight http://tfl.nu/0j1g

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(940): View more from Texas

it's like heaven, but drunker

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(940): it's like heaven, but drunker http://tfl.nu/yzff

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(419): View more from Ohio

I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.

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(419): I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud. http://tfl.nu/pl89

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(914): View more from New York

Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.

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(914): Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house. http://tfl.nu/9b9q

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.

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(978): Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant. http://tfl.nu/4fg6

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am

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(864): Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am http://tfl.nu/oar5

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(615): View more from Tennessee

And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler

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(615): And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler http://tfl.nu/itqd

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(954): View more from Florida

Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.

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(954): Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache. http://tfl.nu/s2zl

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