What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
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Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
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I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.