Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order

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  (858): he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order http://tfl.nu/kgbm
  Replies (2) Good night (664) Bad night (1991)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?

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  (630): Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league? http://tfl.nu/urmj
  Replies (15) Good night (2812) Bad night (1073)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.

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  (905): FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk. http://tfl.nu/mb8o
  Replies (37) Good night (1194) Bad night (5473)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.

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  (414): I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay. http://tfl.nu/pwts
  Replies (214) Good night (12220) Bad night (3485)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.

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  (281): She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this. http://tfl.nu/u3zd
  Replies (46) Good night (10202) Bad night (1398)
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  (516): View more from New York

  They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.

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  (516): They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were. http://tfl.nu/skxs
  Replies (5) Good night (5311) Bad night (947)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name

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  (403): I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name http://tfl.nu/7q8a
  Replies (4) Good night (2588) Bad night (873)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.

  (1-808): View more from Hawaii

  Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?

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  (808): Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide. (1-808): Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway? http://tfl.nu/exam
  Replies (4) Good night (1319) Bad night (1836)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.

  (254): View more from Texas

  Jealous?

  (903): View more from Texas

  Very.

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  (903): This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits. (254): Jealous? (903): Very. http://tfl.nu/i9gx
  Replies (8) Good night (2498) Bad night (810)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.

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  (606): only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding. http://tfl.nu/lmd6
  Replies (28) Good night (1871) Bad night (1754)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  And your cock privileges have been revoked.

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  (778): Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck? (604): And your cock privileges have been revoked. http://tfl.nu/u4qr
  Replies (10) Good night (1141) Bad night (1712)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.

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  (937): in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable. http://tfl.nu/kvvg
  Replies (14) Good night (1415) Bad night (623)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.

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  (612): She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did. http://tfl.nu/uugg
  Replies (9) Good night (1161) Bad night (857)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.

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  (314): struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window. http://tfl.nu/5555
  Replies (2) Good night (403) Bad night (339)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard

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  (843): I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard http://tfl.nu/pmd0
  Replies (2) Good night (629) Bad night (288)

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