Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
