I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
