If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
