He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
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That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
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Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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