I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
