ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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