# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
