Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I AM VODKA MAN
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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