Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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