I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
