using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
