I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
