I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
