North Korea, Best Korea!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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