Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
