There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize