Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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