So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
