i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
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Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
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Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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