I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
