Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We need to rekindle our bromance
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
