her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
