the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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