They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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