It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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