i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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