It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
