i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
