Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
