she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Never underestimate the power of titties
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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