Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
