your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
