Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
